I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
