I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
