so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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