can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You are the jesus of drinking
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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