Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
