Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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