I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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