just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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