yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
