I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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