Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
