took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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