Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
