I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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