If i come over, it means nothing
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
