I accidentally burped into my bong.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
