Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
