FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
