you traded sex for a burrito?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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