Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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