hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
