so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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