Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
