All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
