We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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