tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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