plz talk dirty to me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
