return my video game
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
