I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
