Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
