hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
