The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
