I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
