I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
