Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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