Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
