got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
