Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
