I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
