I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
