evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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