He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
