okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
