I accidentally burped into my bong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
