ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
