I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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