So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
