Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You can't special order awesome
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
