i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
