i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
